I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer.
~ Douglas Adams ~
Ever notice how it's a penny for your thoughts, yet you put in your two-cents? Someone is making a penny on the deal!
~ Steven Wright ~
The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
~ Andy Rooney ~
"The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with."
~ Marty Feldman.~
Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.
~ Albert Einstein ~
Be nice to people on your way up because you meet them on your way down.
~ Jimmy Durante
The secret of creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
~ Albert Einstein ~
Dispatcher : 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency? Caller : I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleve...
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much lea...
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE . "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished clea...
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some people just don't have film. He who laughs last, thinks slowest. A day without sunshine is like...
1. I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either. 2. I ...
A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. ...
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have thei...
BOY : May I hold your hand? GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me! BOY : You love me... GIRL : If w...
After months of gentle urging from his wife, a man finally had to admit he needed a hearing aid. The audiologist confirmed it. "How...
A boy goes to his mother one day with a puzzled look on his face. "Say Mom, why is my bigger brother named Mighty Storm"? &...