- Cooking my own meals would be an adventure, not a punishment.
- I wouldn't have to explain why I'm wearing "that" shirt with "those" pants.
- I could leave the toilet seat in any position I damn well please.
- I could actually tell the bartender, "If anyone calls, I'm here".
- I'd be painting the town instead of the house.
- When I get home after work, I don't have to start work again.
- I could show my girlfriend where I live.
- I'd be driving a miniskirt instead of a minivan.
- I would have saved 372,416.21 dollars in groceries by now.
- I'd get to see what my paycheck looks like.
- I'd get to see what my credit cards look like.
- You can see a different face when you wake up in the morning, every day of the week!
- Going to a strip club doesn't have to be a covert mission.
- Bachelors don't have Mother-in-laws.
- I wouldn't have to watch sub-titled French films.
- I could home drunk to sleep, instead of under a bridge.
- I could use my own name at hotels.
- I wouldn't have a driving instructor grading me every time I go somewhere.
- When asked his opinion, a single guy can say "Hell yes, you're fat!"
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