- Cooking my own meals would be an adventure, not a punishment.
- I wouldn't have to explain why I'm wearing "that" shirt with "those" pants.
- I could leave the toilet seat in any position I damn well please.
- I could actually tell the bartender, "If anyone calls, I'm here".
- I'd be painting the town instead of the house.
- When I get home after work, I don't have to start work again.
- I could show my girlfriend where I live.
- I'd be driving a miniskirt instead of a minivan.
- I would have saved 372,416.21 dollars in groceries by now.
- I'd get to see what my paycheck looks like.
- I'd get to see what my credit cards look like.
- You can see a different face when you wake up in the morning, every day of the week!
- Going to a strip club doesn't have to be a covert mission.
- Bachelors don't have Mother-in-laws.
- I wouldn't have to watch sub-titled French films.
- I could home drunk to sleep, instead of under a bridge.
- I could use my own name at hotels.
- I wouldn't have a driving instructor grading me every time I go somewhere.
- When asked his opinion, a single guy can say "Hell yes, you're fat!"
BOY : May I hold your hand? GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me! BOY : You love me... GIRL : If w...
Albert Einstein is best mind known to human. He was the most Intellectual person ever. But still he had a funny side to him. Following are s...
Who says today’s kids aren’t smart? Well, some of them are! I wish I’d thought of this ... At a high school in Montana a group of stu...
1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. 2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. 3. Going to church doesn...
1. I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either. 2. I ...
Q - Why is it called a TV set when there's only one? Q - If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as ...
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much lea...
The average bed is home to over 6 billion dust mites. Just twenty seconds worth of fuel remained when Apollo 11's lunar module landed on...
There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot. Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in...
Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts. If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is...