Funny Church Signs

  • “No God — No Peace. Know God — Know Peace.”
  • “Free Trip to heaven. Details Inside!”
  • “Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin-Robbins.”
  • “Searching for a new look? Have your faith lifted here!”
  • An ad for St.Joseph’s Episcopal Church has a picture of two hands holding stone tablets on which the Ten Commandments are inscribed and a headline that reads, “For fast, fast, fast relief, take two tablets.”
  • When the restaurant next to the Lutheran Church put out a big sign with red letters that said, “Open Sundays,” the church reciprocated with its own message: “We are open on Sundays, too.”
  • “Have trouble sleeping? We have sermons — come hear one!”
  • A singing group called “The Resurrection” was scheduled to sing at a church. When a big snowstorm postponed the performance, the pastor fixed the outside sign to read, “The Resurrection is postponed.”
  • “People are like tea bags — you have to put them in hot water before you know how strong they are.”
  • “God so loved the world that He did not send a committee.”
  • “Come in and pray today. Beat the Christmas rush!”
  • “When down in the mouth, remember Jonah. He came out alright.”
  • “Sign broken. Message inside this Sunday.”
  • “Fight truth decay — study the Bible daily.”
  • “How will you spend eternity — Smoking or Non-smoking?”
  • “Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty Lives”:
  • “Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world.”
  • “It is unlikely there’ll be a reduction in the wages of sin.”
  • “Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church.”
  • “If you’re headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns.”
  • “If you don’t like the way you were born, try being born again.”
  • “Looking at the way some people live, they ought to obtain eternal fire insurance soon.”
  • “This is a ch_ _ ch. What is missing?”
  • “Forbidden fruit creates many jams.”
  • “In the dark? Follow the Son.”
  • “Running low on faith? Stop in for a fill-up.”
  • “If you can’t sleep, don’t count sheep. Talk to the Shepherd.”

No comments:

Current Hits