Work Load - A Perfect Example



This is called workload

Newtons Laws On Love

Universal law: Love can neither be created nor be destroyed, only it can transfer from
one girlfriend to another girlfriend with some loss of money.

First law: A boy in love with a girl, continue to be in love with her and a girl in love with a boy, continue to be in love with him, until or unless any external agent(brother or father of the gal) comes into play and break the legs of the boy.

Second law: The rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy is directly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the boy and the direction of this love is same to as increment or decrement of the bank balance.

Third law: The force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal and opposite to the force applied by the girl while using her sandals!

You Can't Argue With A Software Engineer

A software engineer was smoking in office.

Girl says, Cant you see the warning? "smoking is injurious to health"

The engineer says...........


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We bother only about Errors not Warnings !!!!


Be Careful On Your First Day At Job.

A man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee.....

On his first day, he dialed the kitchen and shouted into the phone: "Get me a cup of coffee, quickly!"

The voice from the other side responded: "You fool, you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know whom you're talking to?"

"No" replied the trainee..

"It's the Managing Director of the company, you idiot!"

The trainee shouted back: "And do you know whom YOU are talking to, you IDIOT?"

"No!" replied the Managing Director angrily.

"Thank God....!!" replied the trainee and put down the phone...


HOW TO ASK YOUR BOSS FOR A SALARY INCREASE?

One day an employee sends a letter to his boss asking for an increase in his salary !!!


Dear Bo$$

In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$ perately. I think you$ hould be under$tanding the need$ of u$. We are worker$ who have given $ o much $upport including $ weat and $ervice to your company ..
I am $ure you will gue$$ what I meant and re$pond $oon

Your$ $incerely,
GS


The next day, the employee received this letter of reply :




Dear GS,

I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOw a days, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticably well . NOw the newspapers are saying the world's leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if the United States may go into a NOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad . I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean .


Your Boss.

Nice Funny Conversation

This is a conversation that took place between (Y) and a marketing guy(X)


X: Which shaving cream do you use?


Y: Baba's


X: Which aftershave do you use?


Y: Baba's


X: Which deodorant do you use?


Y: Baba's


X: Which toothpaste do you use?


Y: Baba's


X: Which shampoo do you use?


Y: Baba's


X: Which socks do you use?


Y: Baba's


X (Frustrated): Okay, tell me, what is this Baba? Is it an international


company???


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Y: No, He is my roommate

Self Appraisal

A little boy went into a store, reached for a soda carton and pulled it over to the telephone. He climbed onto the carton so that he could reach the buttons on the phone and proceeded to punch in seven digits. The store owner observed and listened to the conversation.

The boy asked, "Ma'am, Can you give me the job of cutting your lawn?"
The woman replied, "I already have someone to cut my lawn."

"I will cut your lawn for half the price of the person who cuts your lawn now." replied the boy.
The woman responded that she was very satisfied with the person who was presently cutting her lawn.

The little boy was even more perseverant and said, "I'll even sweep your curb and your sidewalk, so on Sunday you will have the prettiest lawn in all of Palm beach, Florida."
Again the woman answered in the negative.

With a smile on his face, the little boy replaced the receiver.

The store owner, who was listening to this conversation, walked over to the boy and said, "Son... I like your attitude; I like that positive spirit and would like to offer you a job."

The little boy replied, "No thanks, I was just checking my performance on the job I already have. I am the one who is working for the lady I was talking to!"

Stress Test

I am not sure exactly how it works, but this is amazingly accurate.

The picture below has 2 identical dolphins in it. It was used in a case study on stress level at St. Mary's Hospital.

Look at both dolphins jumping out of the water. The dolphins are identical.

A closely monitored, scientific study of a group revealed that in spite of the fact that the dolphins are identical; a person under stress would find differences in the two dolphins. If there are many differences found between both dolphins, it means that the person is experiencing a great amount of stress.

Look at the photograph and if you find more than one or two differences you may want to take a vacation.

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Yes you need a vaccation !!
Smile, it increases your face value :-)


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