- Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
- He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
- Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
- Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
- Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
- The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
- If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the fog
- The things that come to those who wait will be the things left by those who got there first.
- Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
- Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
- The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
- A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
- When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
BOY : May I hold your hand? GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me! BOY : You love me... GIRL : If w...
Albert Einstein is best mind known to human. He was the most Intellectual person ever. But still he had a funny side to him. Following are s...
1. I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either. 2. I ...
There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot. Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in...
1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. 2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. 3. Going to church doesn...
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much lea...
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have thei...
Following is the list of some of the most funny country songs title. 1. Her Teeth Was Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure 2. How Can I Miss You,...
They say that there are no "Stupid Questions".... well think again. The best of those stupid, dumb, and funny questions. Some of ...
Dispatcher : 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency? Caller : I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleve...