TedsWoodworking Plans and Projects

Thursday, November 26, 2009

It Was A Really Bad Movie

  1. It's showing on an airplane... and you STILL think about walking out!
  2. Even if you've snuck into the theater, you still demand your money back afterwards!
  3. After it's over you say to yourself, "Wow, and the best part of that was Vin Diesel's performance!"
  4. You start to cry, not because of the poignant story, but due to the bad acting.
  5. There's a CRYING BABY in the audience...and the Baby's lines are more interesting than what the actors on screen are saying!"
  6. You see John Waters in the audience getting sick to his stomach.
  7. Nobody even bought the bootleg DVD at the swap meet!
  8. The director holds a press conference as "Alan Smithee" behind bullet-proof glass!
  9. You have trouble leaving because it SUCKS!
  10. You cringe in horror... and it's a NUDE scene!
  11. EVERYONE in the theater decides to play Mystery Science Theater 3000!
  12. You think out loud that it would be a good weapon in the war on terror...
  13. The USHERS don't show up, even when offered triple pay.
  14. The guy who's videotaping it for the bootleg walks out!
  15. When the SWAT team asks where the bomb is...and everyone points to the screen...
  16. Someone spills the popcorn and soda all over the screen... ...and nobody notices the difference...

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