Husband: Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It means, Without Information, Fighting Everytime!
Wife: No darling, it means, With Idiot For Ever
Wife: I wish I was a newspaper, So I'd be in your hands all day.
Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper,So I could have a new one everyday.
Doctor: Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping pills.
Wife: When must I give them to him?
Doctor: They are for you
Wife: I had to marry you to find out how stupid you are.
Husband: You should have known it the minute I asked you to marry me.
Husband: Today is Sunday & I have to enjoy it. So I bought 3 movie tickets.
Wife: Why Three?
Husband: For you and your parents
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, You know, I was a fool when I married you.
The husband replied, "Yes dear, but I was in love and didn't notice"