- Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
- One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.
- You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.
- Reading when you're drunk is horrible.
- Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
- You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.
- Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
- Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
- Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.
- You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
- Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.
- The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad.
- The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.
- Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
- Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.
- Old women with mobile phones look wrong!
- Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
- Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
- You never ever run out of salt.
- Old ladies can eat more than you think.
- You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
- There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something.
- No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
- People who don't drive slam car doors too hard
- In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.
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