Valentine’s Day Jokes

February 14th is right around the corner, which means it's time for a few misguided Valentine's Day Jokes to poke fun at the day Cupid makes his rounds poking people in the butt with painful arrows and such. Rather than bore you with a bunch of babbling, we'll get right to the funny jokes.


Top 5 Valentine (Or Love / Marriage) Quotes
  1. "The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead." ~Ann Landers
  2. "I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste." ~David Bissonnette
  3. "It's better to have loved and lost than to do forty pounds of laundry a week." ~Laurence J. Peter
  4. "Women are cursed, and men are the proof." ~Rosanne Barr
  5. "Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house." ~Groucho Marx
Top 5 (Lame) Question and Answer Valentine Jokes
Q: What is a ram's favourite song on February 14th?
A: I only have eyes for ewe!
Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day?
A: Forget-me-nuts.
Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope?
A: I'm stuck on you!
Q: What did the light bulb say to the switch?
A: You turn me on.


Planning to propose to Girl this Valentines Day - be careful. Go Prepared :)





I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.


Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face


Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not


I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face 


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