- When a person in the elevator repeatedly pushes a button (such as "close" or "open") say, "Congratulations, you figured out that if you push the button 20 times, it works quicker"
- When the elevator doors shut, assuringly say, "It's ok, they will open up again!"
- Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
- Whistle the first seven notes of "Its a Small World" incessantly.
- Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
- Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
- When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
- Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
- Meow occasionally.
- Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
- Stare at another passenger for awhile, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
- Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
- When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "Is that your beeper?"
- Say "Ding!" at each floor.
- Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
- Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
- Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
- Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
BOY : May I hold your hand? GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me! BOY : You love me... GIRL : If w...
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much lea...
1. I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either. 2. I ...
Albert Einstein is best mind known to human. He was the most Intellectual person ever. But still he had a funny side to him. Following are s...
I'd really love to, but... I have to floss my cat. I've dedicated my life to linguini. I want to spend more ...
According to a news report, a certain private school in Victoria, BC recently was faced with a unique problem. A number of year 12 girls we...
Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts. If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is...
Critics from Dave TV sat through the telling of thousands of jokes at the Edinburgh (Scotland) Fringe Festival, and pronounced these the Top...
A local newspaper ran a competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line... but the least romantic second line. Here are...
I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect , and therefore I'm perfect. If I save time, when do I get it back? The statement below is true...