- Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.
- Law of Gravity - Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
- Law of Probability - The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
- Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
- Variation Law - If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
- Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
- Law of Close Encounters - The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
- Law of the Result - When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
- Law of Bio-mechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
- Law of the Theater or sports Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.
- The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
- Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
- Law of Physical Surfaces - The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.
- Law of Logical Argument - Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
- Brown's Law of Physical Appearance - If the clothes fit, they're ugly.
- Oliver's Law of Public Speaking - A closed mouth gathers no feet.
- Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy - As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
- Doctors' Law - If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better.. But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick.
Monday, November 14, 2011
Funny Universal Laws
Tags: funny laws
BOY : May I hold your hand? GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me! BOY : You love me... GIRL : If w...
Albert Einstein is best mind known to human. He was the most Intellectual person ever. But still he had a funny side to him. Following are s...
Who says today’s kids aren’t smart? Well, some of them are! I wish I’d thought of this ... At a high school in Montana a group of stu...
1. I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either. 2. I ...
1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. 2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. 3. Going to church doesn...
Q - Why is it called a TV set when there's only one? Q - If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as ...
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much lea...
The average bed is home to over 6 billion dust mites. Just twenty seconds worth of fuel remained when Apollo 11's lunar module landed on...
There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot. Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in...
Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts. If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is...