- Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
- Hey, you must have been doin' 125 mph to keep up with me! Good job!
- I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
- I was going to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school.
- "Bad Cop! No Donut!"
- You're not gonna check my truck, are you?
- Gee, that gut sure doesn't inspire confidence.
- Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on "Cops"?
- I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
- Is it true that people become cops because they are too dumb to work at McDonald's?
- I pay your salary!
- So, uh, you on the take, or what?
- Gee, officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
- Aren't you the guy from "The Village People"?
- Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
- I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around...that's how far ahead of me they are.
- What do you mean "Have I been drinking?" You're the trained specialist.
- Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
- Hey, is that a 9mm? That's nothing compared to this .44 magnum.
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Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much lea...
Or else get a proper crack :)