Beer! And Some Quotes

  1. Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time. --Catherine Zandonella
  2. Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
  3. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
  4. A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
  5. Beauty lies in the hands of the beerholder.
  6. Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink. --Lady Astor to Winston Churchill. His reply -- Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.
  7. Work is the curse of the drinking classes. --Oscar Wilde
  8. When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. --Henny Youngman
  9. Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life.
  10. 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
  11. Beer is good food.
  12. It's better to have a beer in hand than gas in tank.
  13. Life is too short to drink cheap beer.
  14. Beer - it's not just for breakfast anymore.
  15. Beer - Nature's laxative.
  16. Beer. If you can't taste it, why bother!
  17. When I heated my home with oil, I used an average of 800 gallons a year. I have found that I can keep comfortably warm for an entire winter with slightly over half that quantity of beer. --Postpetroleum Guzzler, Dave Barry
  18. Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. --Dave Barry's Bad Habit's, Dave Barry
  19. Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. --Dave Barry
  20. My problem with most althletic challenges is training. I'm lazy and find that workouts cut into my drinking time. --A Wolverine is Eating My Leg
  21. The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. --Humphrey Bogart
  22. Friends don't let friends drink Light Beer.
  23. Adhere to Schweinheitsgebot. Don't put anything in your beer that a pig wouldn't eat. --David Geary
  24. Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine. --David Moulton
  25. People who drink light "beer" don't like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot. --Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI

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