- Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time. --Catherine Zandonella
- Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.
- I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.
- A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
- Beauty lies in the hands of the beerholder.
- Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink. --Lady Astor to Winston Churchill. His reply -- Madam, if you were my wife, I would drink it.
- Work is the curse of the drinking classes. --Oscar Wilde
- When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. --Henny Youngman
- Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life.
- 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
- Beer is good food.
- It's better to have a beer in hand than gas in tank.
- Life is too short to drink cheap beer.
- Beer - it's not just for breakfast anymore.
- Beer - Nature's laxative.
- Beer. If you can't taste it, why bother!
- When I heated my home with oil, I used an average of 800 gallons a year. I have found that I can keep comfortably warm for an entire winter with slightly over half that quantity of beer. --Postpetroleum Guzzler, Dave Barry
- Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. --Dave Barry's Bad Habit's, Dave Barry
- Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. --Dave Barry
- My problem with most althletic challenges is training. I'm lazy and find that workouts cut into my drinking time. --A Wolverine is Eating My Leg
- The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. --Humphrey Bogart
- Friends don't let friends drink Light Beer.
- Adhere to Schweinheitsgebot. Don't put anything in your beer that a pig wouldn't eat. --David Geary
- Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine. --David Moulton
- People who drink light "beer" don't like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot. --Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI
BOY : May I hold your hand? GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me! BOY : You love me... GIRL : If w...
1. I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either. 2. I ...
Albert Einstein is best mind known to human. He was the most Intellectual person ever. But still he had a funny side to him. Following are s...
I'd really love to, but... I have to floss my cat. I've dedicated my life to linguini. I want to spend more ...
How to Answer the Tough Interview Questions A lot of people know how to write a resume and talk their way into an interview. But when they g...
1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. 2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. 3. Going to church doesn...
There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot. Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in...
They say that there are no "Stupid Questions".... well think again. The best of those stupid, dumb, and funny questions. Some of ...
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much lea...