- Your kids are becoming you, and you don’t like them. But your grandchildren are perfect!
- Going out is good. Coming home is better!
- When you needed the discount, you paid full price. Now, you get discounts on everything: movies, hotels, flights, but you don’t feel like going to the trouble.
- You forget names, but it’s OK because other people forgot they even know you!!!
- The five pounds you wanted to lose is now fifteen and you have a better chance of losing your keys than the fifteen pounds.
- You realize you’re never going to be really good at anything, especially golf.
- Your husband is counting on you to remember things you don’t remember.
- The things you cared to do, you don’t care to do, but you care that you don’t care to do them anymore.
- Your husband sleeps better on a lounge chair with the TV blaring than he does in bed. It’s called his “pre-sleep”.
- Remember when your mother said, “Wear clean underwear in case you GET in an accident”? Now you bring clean underwear in case you have an accident!
- You used to say, “I hope my kids get married.” Now you say, “I hope they stay married!”
- You miss the days when everything worked with just an “ON” and “OFF” switch.
- You remember when Google, iPod, email, modem were unheard of and a mouse was something that made you climb on a table.
- You now use more four-letter words ..”what?”…”when?”
- Now that you can afford expensive jewelry, it’s not safe to wear it anywhere.
- Your husband has a night out with the guys but he’s home by 9:00 P.M. Next week it will be 8:30 P.M.
- You read 100 pages into a book before you realize you’ve already read it.
- Notice everything they sell in stores is “sleeveless”?
- What used to be freckles are now liver spots.
- Everybody whispers.
- Now that your husband has retired, you’d give anything if he’d find a job!
- You have three sizes of clothes in your closet …two of which you will never wear.
- But old is good in some things: old songs, old movies and best of all, OLD FRIENDS -if you can remember who they are!
BOY : May I hold your hand? GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me! BOY : You love me... GIRL : If w...
Albert Einstein is best mind known to human. He was the most Intellectual person ever. But still he had a funny side to him. Following are s...
1. I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either. 2. I ...
1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. 2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. 3. Going to church doesn...
Following is the list of some of the most funny country songs title. 1. Her Teeth Was Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure 2. How Can I Miss You,...
They say that there are no "Stupid Questions".... well think again. The best of those stupid, dumb, and funny questions. Some of ...
Dispatcher : 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency? Caller : I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleve...
There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot. Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in...
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have thei...
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much lea...