- I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
- Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, "Where is the ceiling?!"
- Just because you're smart does not mean that the other guy is stupid.
- Indecision is the key to flexibility.
- Inflexibility is the hallmark of the Tiny Mind.
- Time is Nature's way of making sure that everything doesn't happen at once.
- If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
- The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
- The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets. This is great info!
- I get plenty of exercise -- jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines.
- On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
- The Truth is Out There. So what are you doing here?!
- I have not yet begun to procrastinate.
- I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.
- There are two rules for ultimate success in life. (1) Never tell everything you know.
- Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're NOT out to get you...
- When I get to where I'm going, will somebody please tell me where I am?
- Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
- Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
- Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
- Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.
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