- I don't have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.
- Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, "Where is the ceiling?!"
- Just because you're smart does not mean that the other guy is stupid.
- Indecision is the key to flexibility.
- Inflexibility is the hallmark of the Tiny Mind.
- Time is Nature's way of making sure that everything doesn't happen at once.
- If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
- The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
- The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets. This is great info!
- I get plenty of exercise -- jumping to conclusions, pushing my luck, and dodging deadlines.
- On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.
- The Truth is Out There. So what are you doing here?!
- I have not yet begun to procrastinate.
- I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.
- There are two rules for ultimate success in life. (1) Never tell everything you know.
- Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're NOT out to get you...
- When I get to where I'm going, will somebody please tell me where I am?
- Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.
- Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
- Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
- Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.
Friday, February 10, 2012
(Non)sense And Sensibility
Tags: funny lists
BOY : May I hold your hand? GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me! BOY : You love me... GIRL : If w...
Albert Einstein is best mind known to human. He was the most Intellectual person ever. But still he had a funny side to him. Following are s...
Who says today’s kids aren’t smart? Well, some of them are! I wish I’d thought of this ... At a high school in Montana a group of stu...
1. I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either. 2. I ...
Q - Why is it called a TV set when there's only one? Q - If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as ...
1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. 2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. 3. Going to church doesn...
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much lea...
The average bed is home to over 6 billion dust mites. Just twenty seconds worth of fuel remained when Apollo 11's lunar module landed on...
There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot. Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in...