- He does not have a beer gut ...He has developed a liquid grain storage facility.
- He is not a bad dancer ...He is overly caucasian.
- He does not get lost all the time ...He investigates alternative destinations.
- He is not balding ...He is in follicle regression.
- He is not a cradle robber ...He prefers generationally differential relationships.
- He does not get falling-down drunk ...He becomes accidentally horizontal.
- He does not act like a total ass ...He develops a case of rectal-cranial inversion.
- He is not a male chauvinist pig ...He has swine empathy.
- He is not afraid of commitment ...He is monogamously challenged.
- He is not horny ...He is sexually focused.
- It's not his crack you see when he bends over ...It is male cleavage.
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