Sunday Night Blues


A Quick Game Of Golf

A young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He figured if he hurried and played very fast,he could get in 9 holes before he had to head home.

Just as he was about to tee off an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee and asked if he could accompany the young man as he was golfing alone. Not being able to say no, he allowed the old gent to join him.

To his surprise the old man played fairly quickly. He didn't hit the ball far, but plodded along consistently and didn't waste much time.

Finally, they reached the 9th fairway and the young man found himself with a tough shot. There was a large pine tree right in front of his ball - and directly between his ball and the green.

After several minutes of debating how to hit the shot the old man finally said, "You know, when I was your age I'd hit the ball right over that tree."

With that challenge placed before him, the youngster swung hard, hit the ball up, right smack into the top of the tree trunk and it thudded back on the ground not a foot from where it had originally lay.

The old man offered one more comment, "Of course, when I was your age that pine tree was only 3 feet tall."

Girls Will Be Girls

Gf giving house directions to her Bf

"Come to the front gate of my apartment where you drop me, look for flat 9A,you ll find a lift on ur right.  Hit 9 with ur ELBOW.....get out of the lift u'll find my flat on left.... Hit the doorbell wid ur ELBOW & I ll get the door 4u"

Bf says- Dear that seems easy but why m I hitting buttons with my elbows?

Gf-"0MG! Are you coming empty handed ???"

Bf:- (speechless)..:

Osmosis : Why Doesn't It Work Like This ?


Boy Vs Girl Texting

A boy sends a text

Boy : Hey

Girl (to herslf): OMG..he just txtd me..I wondr wat he wants..maybe he just wants to talk..or maybe he's mad at me, but all he said was hey.. I should jst answer him, dnt wnt to keep him waitin..well maybe I'll wait another 3 minutes so he thinks I m busy..no, that's too obvious. Could this mean he's into me? Or is  he just bored? Either way is fine, I mean I don't care if he likes me back. Who said that I even liked him?
huh.. I'm gonna text back now.
Should I reply hi or hey. Hey with 3 y's? No thats stupid. 2 y's work.
He wont know if I did it on purpose or if it was accidental.
Ok! I got this. Breathe in, breathe out.

Girl: Heyy !!!

Boy: plz mark my attendance at college!!!

Morals

A teacher told her young class to ask their parents for a family story with a moral at the end of it, and to return the next day to tell their stories.

In the classroom the next day, Joe gave his example first, "My dad is a farmer and we have chickens. One day we were taking lots of eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the truck when we hit a big bump in the road; the basket fell off the seat and all the eggs broke. The moral of the story is not to put all your eggs in one basket.."

"Very good," said the teacher.

Next, Mary said, "We are farmers too. We had twenty eggs waiting to hatch, but when they did we only got ten chicks. The moral of this story is not to count your chickens before they're hatched.."

"Very good," said the teacher again, very pleased with the response so far.

Next it was Barney's turn to tell his story: "My dad told me this story about my Aunt Karen.... Aunt Karen was a flight engineer in the war and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle of whisky, a machine gun and a machete."

"Go on," said the teacher, intrigued.

"Aunt Karen drank the whisky on the way down to prepare herself; then she landed right in the middle of a hundred enemy soldiers. She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets. Then she killed twenty more with the machete till the blade broke. And then she killed the last ten with her bare hands."

"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "What did your father say was the moral of that frightening story?"

"Stay away from Aunt Karen when she's been drinking..."

Come For The Bull

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.
The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale.

Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home."

The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it. The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.

She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."

The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word."

Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word.

After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, "I want you to send her the word, 'comfortable.'"

The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, 'comfortable'?"

The brunette explains, "My sister's blonde."

"She'll read it very slow."

New Year Resolutions



Live Life King Size


No Time To Study In New Year

Hi Friends,
It Is No Fault Of Student Because A Year Has Only 365 Days.

Days In A Year = 365

Sundays = 52 Days
Sundays Are Meant For Rest

Days Left = 313 Days

Summer Vacations = 60 Days
Weather Is Very Hot, and its a Vacation

Days Left = 253 Days

8 Hours Of Daily Sleep = 122 Days
Sleep Is Necessary

Days Left = 131

1 Hour Daily For Play = 15 Days
Its Good For Health

Days Left = 116 Days

2 Hours Daily For Food = 30 Days
Chew The Food Properly Don't Care For Time

Days Left = 86 Days

Examination Days In A Year = 30 Days
Giving Exams Is Necessary

Days Left = 56 Days

Winter Vacations = 25 Days

Weather Is Cold Its Difficult To Study

Days Left = 31 Days

Other Holidays = 20 Days

These Holidays Are To Enjoy

Days Left = 11 Days

Illness At least Once A Year = 8 Days
Becoz Of Illness Study Is Difficult

Days Left = 3 Days

Result Days = 3 Days
Going And Taking Result Is Necessary

Days Left =0 Days

So Tell Me Where Is The Time To Study?

Happy New Year



Wishing you all Happy and Prosperous New Year

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