- "In Los Angeles they don't throw out their garbage away. They make it into television shows."
- "I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own."
- "My problems all started with my early education. I went to a school for mentally disturbed teachers."
- "My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty."
- "My wife and I pondered for a while whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermuda is over in two weeks, but a divorce is something you always have."
- "Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have declared you legally insane in order to gain control of your estate."
- "Bisexuality doubles your chances of a date on a Saturday night."
- "On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down."
- "My brain, that's my second favourite organ."
- "I failed to make the chess team because of my height."
- "I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch."
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Funny Quotes By Woody Allen
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