Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Humor Quotes

It's better to keep your mouth shut and give the impression that you're stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.
- Rami Belson

"It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawnmower, snowblower or vacuum cleaner."
---Ben Bergor

"I was standing in the park wondering why frisbees got bigger as they get closer. Then it hit me. "
- Unknown

"People have the right to be stupid. Some people abuse that privilege. "
- Unknown

"Don't play stupid with me...I'm better at it. "
- Unknown

"I dream of a better tomorrow... where chickens can cross roads and not have their motives questioned "
- Unknown

"When I die, I want to die like my grandmother, who died peacefully in her sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in her car. "
- Unknown

"I'm never wrong. I once thought I was wrong, turns out, I was mistaken. "
- Unknown

"People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day."
- Whinnie The Pooh

"People that don't know me think I'm shy.People that do know me wish I were. "
- Unknown

1 comment:

  1. 'When I die, i want to die like my grandmother....'.

    This is actually a misquote of a joke by the late Bob Monkhouse, UK comedian. The original is: 'I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my father. Not screaming and terrified like his passengers.'


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