Thursday, February 1, 2018

I wonder how this would turn out?


Russian Election
























via

God, Please Let Me Win The Lottery!

A blonde finds herself in serious money trouble , Lost her job and she's in dire financial straits.

She's desperate so she decides to ask God for help. She begins to pray...
"God, please help me. I've lost my job and if I don't get some money, I'm going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lottery."

Lottery night comes, and somebody else wins.

She again prays... "God, please let me win the lottery! I've lost my job, my house and I'm going to lose my car as well."

Lottery night comes and she still has no luck.

Once again, she prays...
"My God, why have you forsaken me? I've lost my job, my house, and my car. My children are starving. I don't often ask You for help, and I've always been a good servant to You. PLEASE let me win the lottery just this one time so I can get my life back in order."

Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open.

The blonde is overwhelmed by the Voice of God, Himself...."Sweetheart, work with Me on this.... Buy a ticket."

10 on 10 For Intelligence


Sometimes You Just Need To Rest…

Tuesday, January 30, 2018

Whale Enjoying With Beach Goers


Funny Comments Captured From Actual Police Car Videos

  • “You know, stop lights don’t come any redder than the one you just went through.” 
  • “Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch after you wear them a while.”
  • “If you take your hands off the car, I’ll make your birth certificate a worthless document.”
  • “If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.” 
  • “Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that’s the speed of the bullet that’ll be chasing you.”(LOVE IT) 
  • “You don’t know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?” (MY FAVORITE) 
  • “Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don’t think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I’m the shift supervisor?”
  • “Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I’m warning you not to do that again or I’ll give you another ticket.” 
  • “The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?”
  • "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.” 
  • "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.” 
  • "In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC.” ( National Crime Information Center ) 
  • "Just how big were those ‘two beers’ you say you had?” 
  • "No sir, we don’t have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we’re allowed to write as many tickets as we can.”
  • "I’m glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.” 
AND THE WINNER IS….
  • "You didn’t think we give pretty women tickets? You’re right, we don’t.. Sign here.” 

How A Bad Day Looks Like


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