Planned Big


Chance By Luck

The story is told of four people who shared a berth in a train going from Paris to Madrid: a beautiful young woman traveling with her grandmother, and a handsome young army lieutenant who was with his commanding officer.
On the way the train passed through a tunnel, and the train became pitch black.
Suddenly, in the darkness there was a sound of a kiss followed by a slap.  When the train emerged from the tunnel, the four sat stone faced as if nothing had happened.
The beautiful young woman thought to herself, "That was a wonderful kiss, but my grandmother must have slapped his face and he probably thinks I did it and he won't pay attention to me again."
The grandmother thinks, "That's a fresh thing for that man to kiss my granddaughter.  I'm sure glad she stood up for herself, I'm sure it will teach him a lesson."
The commanding officer thought, "This is terrible, she must have thought that I was the one who kissed her, wait until I get back to the base, I'm really going to give my lieutenant a piece of my mind."
And the handsome young lieutenant thought, "This was my day. I got to kiss a beautiful woman and slap my boss and get away with both."

Pub Steakout

The policeman had the bar under surveillance a few minutes before closing time, so he could see who comes out drunk.
The first one out the door at 2:00 o'clock weaved down the sidewalk, then fell on the curb. Sluggishly got up, then tried his keys in five cars before finding his own car.
Once inside his car, he fumbled with his keys for 2 or 3 minutes.
Meanwhile, all the club patrons had gotten into their cars and driven away, leaving this one fellow quite alone in the parking lot.
Finally, he got his car started and began to very slowly drive away.
Immediately, the police car was behind him with lights flashing.
The policeman asked the man to take a breathalyser test, to which he readily agreed.
When the reading was 0.0%, the policeman said, "How can this be?"
To which the man replied, "Because tonight, I'm the designated decoy."

Speeding Ticket

A young man, on the way to visit his girlfriend in northern Michigan was caught speeding through one of the small towns just a few miles from his destination.  The officer sauntered up to the car as the young man fished for his license and registration. With the hint of a wry smile across his face, the officer placed both elbows on the window of the car so he could get real close and spoke in a deep voice, "Son, I've been waitin' all day for you."
 "Sorry officer," the young driver said. "I got here just as fast as I could."

Will He Land Safe?


Why Did You Die?

A man was at a grave yard.
He began to moan "Why did you die oh why did you have to die?"
A passer by knelt down next to the man and said "Was this person very close to you?"
"No, actually i never met him!" replied the man
"Why are you moaning then?" asked the passer-by coursously.
"He was my wife's first husband!"

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