TedsWoodworking Plans and Projects

Friday, July 27, 2007

Some Funny Proverbs Of All Time

1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.

2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a mechanic.

4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you ve never tried before.

6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.

10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

12. A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

13. Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

15. No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

16. A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

19. Junk is something you ve kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.

25. Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.

38 comments:

  1. i wish there were more of these...

    ReplyDelete
  2. i am using this for school proverbs

    ReplyDelete
  3. gud ones:) witty brains :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hi dear. i am an iranian girl. i think your website is great! anyway,thanks for the idioms.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils
    howz dis one

    ReplyDelete
  6. I LOVE THIS! :D

    ReplyDelete
  7. Really nice and wonderfully good.

    ReplyDelete
  8. It's great. I want to learn more.

    ReplyDelete
  9. It's great. I want to learn more.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Grass is greener & water bill is higher

    ReplyDelete
  11. Life is a beach & you get burned

    ReplyDelete
  12. these are great! educational but really funny

    ReplyDelete
  13. This is the difference between man and God: man says 'show me and ill believe' and God says 'believe and i will show you'.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Fantastic goods from you, man. I've keep in mind your stuff previous to and you're just too
    magnificent. I actually like what you have bought here, certainly
    like what you are saying and the way through which you
    say it. You make it entertaining and you continue to care
    for to keep it smart. I can not wait to read far more from you.
    This is actually a wonderful website.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Greetings from Colorado! I'm bored to tears at work so I decided to check
    out your blog on my iphone during lunch break. I enjoy the
    info you provide here and can't wait to take a look when I get home.
    I'm surprised at how fast your blog loaded on my mobile ..
    I'm not even using WIFI, just 3G .. Anyhow, great site!

    ReplyDelete
  16. May I simply just say what a relief to find somebody that actually knows what they are discussing online.
    You certainly realize how to bring an issue to light and make it important.
    More people have to look at this and understand this side of your story.
    I was surprised that you're not more popular because
    you definitely have the gift.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Your mode of explaining the whole thing in this paragraph is truly good, all can without
    difficulty be aware of it, Thanks a lot.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I used to be able to find good information from your content.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I was curious if you ever considered changing the
    structure of your website? Its very well written; I love what
    youve got to say. But maybe you could a
    little more in the way of content so people could connect with it better.
    Youve got an awful lot of text for only having one or two images.
    Maybe you could space it out better?

    ReplyDelete
  20. There's certainly a lot to learn about this subject.
    I love all of the points you have made.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I’m not that much of a internet reader to be honest but
    your blogs really nice, keep it up! I'll go ahead and bookmark your site to come back in the future.
    Cheers

    ReplyDelete
  22. Asking questions are truly pleasant thing if you are not understanding something completely, but
    this article gives good understanding yet.

    ReplyDelete
  23. I enjoy looking through a post that can make people
    think. Also, thank you for permitting me to comment!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Hello I am so thrilled I found your webpage, I really found you by error, while I was researching on Digg for
    something else, Anyhow I am here now and would just like to say thank
    you for a tremendous post and a all round exciting blog (I also love the theme/design), I don't have time to
    read through it all at the moment but I have saved it and
    also added your RSS feeds, so when I have time I will be back
    to read more, Please do keep up the great work.

    ReplyDelete
  25. This piece of writing is actually a nice one it assists new the web people,
    who are wishing in favor of blogging.

    ReplyDelete
  26. I constantly spent my half an hour to read this webpage's posts daily
    along with a cup of coffee.

    ReplyDelete
  27. It's very easy to find out any topic on net as compared to books,
    as I found this paragraph at this website.

    ReplyDelete
  28. What i don't understood is in fact how you're
    not actually a lot more neatly-appreciated than you may be right now.
    You're very intelligent. You know therefore considerably in the case of this subject, made me for my part imagine it from a lot of various angles.
    Its like women and men don't seem to be fascinated unless it is something
    to do with Girl gaga! Your personal stuffs
    great. All the time deal with it up!

    ReplyDelete
  29. First off I would like to say excellent blog! I had a quick question in which I'd like to ask
    if you do not mind. I was curious to find out how you center
    yourself and clear your mind before writing. I have had difficulty clearing my mind in getting my thoughts out.

    I truly do enjoy writing but it just seems like the first 10 to 15 minutes are lost
    simply just trying to figure out how to begin. Any recommendations or tips?

    Appreciate it!

    ReplyDelete
  30. Great post. I was checking constantly this blog and I am impressed!
    Very useful information specially the last part :) I care for
    such information a lot. I was looking for this certain information for a very long time.
    Thank you and best of luck.

    ReplyDelete
  31. In this way, abstain from utilizing a layout and dependably get a custom logo configuration to make your business look proficient and reliable.
    logo design service

    ReplyDelete

Current Hits