- Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
- A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
- He, who laughs last, thinks slowest.
- A day without sunshine is like, well . night.
- Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
- Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t.
- Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
- The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.
- It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them.
- If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
- The things that come to those that wait, may be the things left by those, who got there first.
- Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
- Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
- The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in the dark.
- When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of twelve people, who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.
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