How To Anoy People At The Computer Lab

  1. Assign a musical note to every key (ie. the Delete key is A Flat, the B key is F sharp, etc.). Whenever you hit a key, hum its note loudly. Write an entire paper this way.
  2. Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer to a different monitor than the one it's set up with.
  3. Bring a chainsaw, but don't use it. If anyone asks why you have it, say "Just in case..." mysteriously.
  4. Every time you press Return and there is processing time required, pray "Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease," and scream "YES!" when it finishes.
  5. If you're sitting in a swivel chair, spin around singing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" whenever there is processing time required.
  6. Light candles in a circle around your terminal before starting.
  7. Play "Pong" for hours on the most powerful computer in the lab.
  8. Pull out a pencil. Start writing on the screen. Complain that the lead doesn't work.
  9. Put a straw in your mouth and put your hands in your pockets. Type by hitting the keys with the straw.
  10. Stare at the person's next to your's screen, look really puzzled, burst out laughing, and say "You did that?" loudly. Keep laughing, grab your stuff and leave, howling as you go.
  11. When doing calculations, pull out an abacus and say that sometimes the old ways are best.

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