- You know, stop lights don’t come any redder than the one you just went through.’
- ‘Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They stretch after awhile.’
- ‘If you take your hands off the car, I’ll make your birth certificate a worthless document.’
- ‘If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.’
- ‘Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that’s the speed of the bullet that’ll be chasing you.’
- ‘You don’t know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?’
- ‘Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don’t think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?’
- ‘Warning! You want a warning? OK., I’m warning you not to do that again or I’ll give you another ticket.’
- ‘The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?’
- ‘Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.’
- ‘Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven .’
- ‘In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.’
- ‘How big were those ‘two beers’ you say you had?’
- ‘No sir, we don’t have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we’re allowed to write as many tickets as we can.’
- ‘I’m glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.
- ‘You didn’t think we give pretty women tickets? You’re right, we don’t. Sign here.’
BOY : May I hold your hand? GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me! BOY : You love me... GIRL : If w...
Albert Einstein is best mind known to human. He was the most Intellectual person ever. But still he had a funny side to him. Following are s...
1. I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either. 2. I ...
There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot. Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in...
1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. 2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. 3. Going to church doesn...
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much lea...
Following is the list of some of the most funny country songs title. 1. Her Teeth Was Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure 2. How Can I Miss You,...
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have thei...
They say that there are no "Stupid Questions".... well think again. The best of those stupid, dumb, and funny questions. Some of ...
Dispatcher : 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency? Caller : I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleve...