- I don't hate you, I just need someone to take my anger out on.
- I don't like to repeat things, so listen carefully the first six times
- I drink to make other people interesting
- I have a picture of u, I think its very nice, I put it under my bed... 2 scare away the mice!
- I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it
- I hope life isn't a joke, because I don't get it!
- English! Who needs that? I'm never going to England!
- Everybody has the right to be stupid but your breaking the rules!
- Everyone likes a little ass, but no one likes a smart ass
- Fat people are harder to kidnap
- First law of science: don't spit into the wind
- Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss
- Girls are like phones, we like to be held and talked to but if you press the wrong buttons you'll be disconnected
- God bless Atheism
- God created man first because you always make a rough draft before a masterpiece!
- Good Girls are Bad girls that don't get caught
- Hate: A special kind of love given to people who suck
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much lea...
G eorge B ush goes to a primary school to talk about the war. After his talk he offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand and ...
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some people just don't have film. He who laughs last, thinks slowest. A day without sunshine is...
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Hey! Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately becomes absolutely quiet....
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have thei...
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE . "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished clea...
1. Never ask a woman if she wants to have sex by asking her if she wants to have sex. 2. It is more important to have good health insuranc...
After months of gentle urging from his wife, a man finally had to admit he needed a hearing aid. The audiologist confirmed it. "How...
1. I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either. 2. I ...
The maker doesn't want it; the buyer doesn't use it; and the user doesn't even see it. What is it? Answer Coffin Ther...