- I don't hate you, I just need someone to take my anger out on.
- I don't like to repeat things, so listen carefully the first six times
- I drink to make other people interesting
- I have a picture of u, I think its very nice, I put it under my bed... 2 scare away the mice!
- I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it
- I hope life isn't a joke, because I don't get it!
- English! Who needs that? I'm never going to England!
- Everybody has the right to be stupid but your breaking the rules!
- Everyone likes a little ass, but no one likes a smart ass
- Fat people are harder to kidnap
- First law of science: don't spit into the wind
- Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss
- Girls are like phones, we like to be held and talked to but if you press the wrong buttons you'll be disconnected
- God bless Atheism
- God created man first because you always make a rough draft before a masterpiece!
- Good Girls are Bad girls that don't get caught
- Hate: A special kind of love given to people who suck
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much lea...
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some people just don't have film. He who laughs last, thinks slowest. A day without sunshine is...
G eorge B ush goes to a primary school to talk about the war. After his talk he offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand and ...
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE . "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished clea...
Three men were sitting together talking about how they had given their new wives duties. Terry had married a woman from America and bragged...
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Hey! Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately becomes absolutely quiet....
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have thei...
1. Never ask a woman if she wants to have sex by asking her if she wants to have sex. 2. It is more important to have good health insuranc...
A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. ...
BOY : May I hold your hand? GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me! BOY : You love me... GIRL : If w...