- I don't hate you, I just need someone to take my anger out on.
- I don't like to repeat things, so listen carefully the first six times
- I drink to make other people interesting
- I have a picture of u, I think its very nice, I put it under my bed... 2 scare away the mice!
- I have great faith in fools; self-confidence my friends call it
- I hope life isn't a joke, because I don't get it!
- English! Who needs that? I'm never going to England!
- Everybody has the right to be stupid but your breaking the rules!
- Everyone likes a little ass, but no one likes a smart ass
- Fat people are harder to kidnap
- First law of science: don't spit into the wind
- Flying is simple. You just throw yourself at the ground and miss
- Girls are like phones, we like to be held and talked to but if you press the wrong buttons you'll be disconnected
- God bless Atheism
- God created man first because you always make a rough draft before a masterpiece!
- Good Girls are Bad girls that don't get caught
- Hate: A special kind of love given to people who suck
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much lea...
DEMOCRATIC You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. Barbara Streisand sings for you. REPUBLICAN ...
G eorge B ush goes to a primary school to talk about the war. After his talk he offers question time. One little boy puts up his hand and ...
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have thei...
Shortly after a British Airways flight had reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced: ‘Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your Captai...
A man owned a small farm in Norfolk. The Department of wages claimed he was not paying proper wages to his staff and se...
1. I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either. 2. I ...
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some people just don't have film. He who laughs last, thinks slowest. A day without sunshine is...
Who says today’s kids aren’t smart? Well, some of them are! I wish I’d thought of this ... At a high school in Montana a group of stu...
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Hey! Wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately becomes absolutely quiet....