- I will not eat other animals' poop.
- I will not lick my human's face after eating animal poop.
- I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.
- My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
- I will no longer be beholden to the sound of the can opener.
- Cats: Circulate a petition that sleeping become a juried competition in major animal shows.
- Come to understand that cats are from Venus; dogs are from Mars.
- Take time from busy schedule to stop and smell the behinds.
- Hamster: Don't let them figure out I'm just a rat on steroids, or they'll flush me!
- Get a bite in on that freak who gives me that shot every year.
- Grow opposable thumb; break into pantry; decide for MYSELF how much food is *too* much.
- Cats: Use new living room sofa as scratching post.
- January 1st: Kill the sock! Must kill the sock! January 2nd - December 31: Re-live victory over the sock.
- The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.
- I will NOT chase the stick until I see it LEAVE THE IDIOT'S HAND
BOY : May I hold your hand? GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me! BOY : You love me... GIRL : If w...
I'd really love to, but... I have to floss my cat. I've dedicated my life to linguini. I want to spend more ...
1. I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either. 2. I ...
Albert Einstein is best mind known to human. He was the most Intellectual person ever. But still he had a funny side to him. Following are s...
Travel agents receives a lot of queries from the travelers . But some of these queries can be very amusing. Some makes these agents bang the...
1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. 2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. 3. Going to church doesn...
How to Answer the Tough Interview Questions A lot of people know how to write a resume and talk their way into an interview. But when they g...
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much lea...
An Engineer was unemployed for a long time. He could not find a job so he opened a medical clinic and puts a sign up outside: “Get your tre...