- You believe that 50% of people are a waste of good air
- Your idea of a good time is a "man with a gun" call
- You conduct a criminal record check on anyone who seems friendly towards you
- You believe in the aerial spraying of Prozac and birth control pills
- You disbelieve 90% of what you hear and 75% of what you see
- You have your weekends off planned for a year
- You refer to your favorite restaurant by the intersection at which it's located
- You have ever wanted to hold a seminar entitled: "Suicide...getting it Right the first time.
- You ever had to put the phone on hold before you begin laughing uncontrollably
- You think caffeine should be available in IV form
- You believe anyone who says, "I only had two beers" is going to blow more than a .O8
- You find out a lot about paranoia just by following people around
- Anyone has ever said to you, "There are people killing other people out there and you are here messing with me."
- People flag you down on the street and ask you directions to strange places ... and you know where it's located
- You can discuss where you are going to eat with your partner while standing over a dead body
- You are the only person introduced at social gatherings by profession. (ISN'T THIS THE TRUTH!)
- You walk into places and people think it's high comedy to grab their buddy and shout, "They've come to get you, Bill."
- You do not see daylight from November until May
- People shout, "I didn't do it!" when you walk into a room and think they're being hugely funny and original
- A week's worth of laundry consists of 5 T-shirts, 5 pairs of socks,and 5 pairs of underwear
- You've ever referred to Tuesday as "my weekend", or "this is my Friday."
- You've ever written off guns and ammunition as a business deduction
- You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, "Boy, it sure is quiet tonight."
- Discussing dismemberment over a meal seems perfectly normal to you
- You find humor in other people's stupidity
- You have left more meals on the restaurant table than you've eaten
- You feel good when you hear "these handcuffs are too tight."
BOY : May I hold your hand? GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me! BOY : You love me... GIRL : If w...
Albert Einstein is best mind known to human. He was the most Intellectual person ever. But still he had a funny side to him. Following are s...
1. I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either. 2. I ...
There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot. Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in...
1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. 2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. 3. Going to church doesn...
Following is the list of some of the most funny country songs title. 1. Her Teeth Was Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure 2. How Can I Miss You,...
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have thei...
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much lea...
They say that there are no "Stupid Questions".... well think again. The best of those stupid, dumb, and funny questions. Some of ...
Dispatcher : 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency? Caller : I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleve...