- Okay, okay! I take it back. Unfuck you.
- You say I’m a bitch like it’s a bad thing.
- Well this day was a total waste of make up
- Don’t bother me, I’m living happily ever after.
- Do I look like a people person?
- This isn’t an office. It’s hell with fluorescent lighting.
- I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.
- Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.
- Why don’t you try practicing random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self-control?
- I’m not crazy. I’ve been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
- Sarcasm is just one more service I offer.
- Do they ever shut up on your planet?
- I’m not your type. I’m not inflatable.
- Stress is what you have when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven’t gone to sleep yet.
- Back off!! You’re standing in my aura.
- Don’t worry, I forgot your name too.
- I work 45 hours a week to be this poor.
- Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
- Wait...I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.
- Chaos, panic and disorder...my work here is done.
- Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
- You look like shit. Is that the style now?
- Earth is full. Go home.
- Aw, did I step on our poor little itty bitty ego?
- I’m not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
- You are depriving some village of an idiot.
- If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport.
- Look in my eyes...do you see one ounce of who gives-a-shit?
Friday, December 11, 2009
Things Stressed Women Say At Work
BOY : May I hold your hand? GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me! BOY : You love me... GIRL : If w...
Albert Einstein is best mind known to human. He was the most Intellectual person ever. But still he had a funny side to him. Following are s...
Who says today’s kids aren’t smart? Well, some of them are! I wish I’d thought of this ... At a high school in Montana a group of stu...
1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. 2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. 3. Going to church doesn...
1. I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either. 2. I ...
Q - Why is it called a TV set when there's only one? Q - If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as ...
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much lea...
The average bed is home to over 6 billion dust mites. Just twenty seconds worth of fuel remained when Apollo 11's lunar module landed on...
There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot. Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in...
Dispatcher : 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency? Caller : I'm trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn't have an eleve...