Valentine’s Day Jokes

February 14th is right around the corner, which means it's time for a few misguided Valentine's Day Jokes to poke fun at the day Cupid makes his rounds poking people in the butt with painful arrows and such. Rather than bore you with a bunch of babbling, we'll get right to the funny jokes.

Top 5 Valentine (Or Love / Marriage) Quotes

  1. "The poor wish to be rich, the rich wish to be happy, the single wish to be married, and the married wish to be dead." ~Ann Landers
  2. "I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste." ~David Bissonnette
  3. "It's better to have loved and lost than to do forty pounds of laundry a week." ~Laurence J. Peter
  4. "Women are cursed, and men are the proof." ~Rosanne Barr
  5. "Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house." ~Groucho Marx

Top 5 (Lame) Question and Answer Valentine Jokes

Q: What is a ram's favourite song on February 14th?
A: I only have eyes for ewe!

Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day?
A: Forget-me-nuts.

Q: What did the stamp say to the envelope?
A: I'm stuck on you!

Q: What did the light bulb say to the switch?
A: You turn me on.

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