A woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked her for a couple of dollars for dinner.
The woman took out her purse, extracted ten dollars and asked, “If I give you this money, will you buy a pair of shoes instead of dinner?”
“No,” I had to stop buying new shoes years ago, the homeless woman replied.
“Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?” the woman asked.
“No I don’t waste time shopping,” the homeless woman said. “I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.”
“Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?” the woman asked.
“Are you NUTS!” replied the homeless woman. “I haven’t had my hair done in 20 years!”
“Well,” said the woman, “I’m not going to give you the money. “Instead, I’m going to take you out for dinner with my hubby and myself tonight.”
The homeless Woman was astounded. “Won’t your hubby be furious with you for doing that? I know I’m dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting.”
The woman replied, “That’s okay. It’s important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, and buying new shoes.”
A man was walking down the street when he was approached by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.
The man took out his wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, “If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead?”
“No, I had to stop drinking years ago,” the homeless man replied.
“Will you use it to gamble instead of buying food?” the man asked.
“No, I don’t gamble,” the homeless man said. “I need everything I can get just to stay alive.”
“Will you spend this on greens fees at a golf course instead of food?” the man asked.
“Are you NUTS!” replied the homeless man. “I haven’t played golf in 20 years!”
“Will you spend the money on a woman in the red light district instead of food?” the man asked.
“What disease would I get for ten lousy bucks?” exclaimed the homeless man.
“Well,” said the man, “I’m not going to give you the money. Instead, I’m going to take you home for a terrific dinner cooked by my wife.”
The homeless man was astounded.
“Won’t your wife be furious with you for doing that? I know I’m dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting.”
The man replied, “That’s okay. I just want her to see what a man looks like who’s given up beer, gambling, golf, and sex.”
BOY : May I hold your hand? GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me! BOY : You love me... GIRL : If w...
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much lea...
1. I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either. 2. I ...
Albert Einstein is best mind known to human. He was the most Intellectual person ever. But still he had a funny side to him. Following are s...
I'd really love to, but... I have to floss my cat. I've dedicated my life to linguini. I want to spend more ...
Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts. If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is...
I'm a nobody, nobody is perfect , and therefore I'm perfect. If I save time, when do I get it back? The statement below is true...
According to a news report, a certain private school in Victoria, BC recently was faced with a unique problem. A number of year 12 girls we...
A local newspaper ran a competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line... but the least romantic second line. Here are...