Dad's Words Of Wisdom

For all the fathers out there, how many of these have you said...
  • Don't ask me, ask your mother.
  • Were you raised in a barn? Close the door.
  • You didn't beat me. I let you win.
  • Big boys don't cry.
  • Don't worry. It's only blood.
  • Don't you know any normal boys?
  • Now you listen to ME, Buster!
  • I'll play catch after I read the paper.
  • Coffee will stunt your growth.
  • A little dirt never hurt anyone, just wipe it off..
  • Get your elbows off the table.
  • I told you, keep your eye on the ball.
  • Who said life was supposed to be fair?
  • Always say "please" and "thank you". That way, you get more.
  • If you forget, you'll be grounded till the end of the world.
  • You call that a haircut?
  • "Hey" is for horses.
  • This will hurt me a lot more than it hurts you.
  • Turn off those lights. Do you think I am made of money?
  • Don't give me any of your lip, young lady.
  • You call that noise "music"?
  • We're not lost. I'm just not sure where we are.
  • No, we're not there yet.
  • Shake it off. It's only pain.
  • When I was your age , I treated MY father with respect.
  • As long as you live under my roof, you' ll live by my rules.
  • I'll tell you why. Because I said so. That's why.
  • Do what I say, not what I do.
  • Sit up straight!
  • So, you think you're smart, do you?
  • What's so funny? Wipe that smile off your face.
  • Young ladies perspire, they do not sweat.
  • If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times.
  • C'mon, you throw like a girl.
  • You want something to do? I'll give you something to do.
  • You should visit more often. Your mother worries.
  • This is your last warning. Your mother worries.
  • I'm not sleeping, I was watching that channel.
  • What keeps those jeans of yours from falling off?
  • I'm not just talking to hear my own voice!
  • Don't believe anything you hear and only half of what you see.
  • What do you think I am, a bank?
  • What part of NO don't you understand?
  • I don't care what other people are doing!
  • I'm not everybody else's father!
  • You're not leaving my house dressed like that! What will other parents think?
  • Could those sleeves be any longer? You look like a bag lady!
  • Worrying about things you can't change is like a rocking chair... it gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere.
  • Hurt much? I didn't feel a thing.
  • I feel for you, but I can't reach you from here.
  • If you're gonna be dumb, you've gotta be tough.
  • Didn't your teacher learn you anything?!
  • You can marry a rich guy just as easily as you can a poor guy.
  • It's hard to be good, and easy to be bad.
  • I got my tongue wrapped around my eye-tooth and couldn't see what I was saying.
  • Men are like buses. Just wait on the corner and another one will come along.
  • Don't tell on anybody unless you tell on yourself first.
  • Hey, did you hear me talking to you?
  • You know you're always gonna be Daddy's little girl.
  • I'm not watching television. I'm resting my eyes.
  • Don't use that tone with me!
  • Am I talking to a brick wall?
  • If I catch you doing that one more time, I'll...
  • Act your age.
  • Two wrongs do not make a right.
  • Wipe your feet!
  • Enough is enough!
  • Don't make me stop the car!
  • What did I just get finished telling you?

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