- Plumber: "We repair what your husband fixed."
- On the trucks of a local plumbing company in NE Pennsylvania: "Don't sleep with a drip call your plumber."
- At a tire shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blowout."
- Billboard on the side of the road: "Keep your eyes on the road and stop reading these signs."
- On an Electricians truck: "Let us remove your shorts."
- In a Nonsmoking Area: "If we see smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
- On Maternity Room Door: "Push, Push, Push."
- At an Optometrists Office: "If you don't see what your looking for you've come to the right place."
- On a Taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."
- On a Butchers window: "Let me meat your needs."
- On a fence: "Salesman Welcome, Dog food is expensive."
- At a Car Dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."
- Outside a Muffler Shop: "No appointment necessary, we hear you coming."
- Outside a Hotel: "Help! We need inn-experienced people."
- On a desk in a reception room: "We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left."
- In a Veterinarians waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes, Sit! Stay!"
- At the Electric Company: "We would be de-lighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't you will be."
- On the door of a Computer Store: "Out for a quick byte."
- In a Restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry, come on in and get fed up."
- In the front yard of a funeral home: "Drive carefully, we'll wait."
- In a counselors office: "Growing old is mandatory, growing wise is optional..
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