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Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Romantic 1st lines.... Deadly 2nd lines

A local newspaper ran a competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line... but the least romantic second line. Here are some of the entries they received.

I thought that I could love no other

Until, that is, I met your brother.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

Of loving beauty you float with grace

If only you could hide your face

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not

I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes -
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life

I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming

My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way

My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "go to hell"

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime

If you have any other such rhyme, leave it in comments bellow


  1. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
    but I only slept with you, cause I was pissed

  2. I love you now and I'll love you later . my love for you will grow much greater, and when the time has come to breed I know you'll be the one I need...

  3. For me, it was love at first sight
    Then the bar turned on the lights

  4. Your beauty defines perfection
    Your brain defies detection

  5. Love may be blind, but if she's deaf and dumb too, it can't hurt..

  6. I love you, I love you, I love you so well,
    If I had a peanut, I'd give you the shell.

  7. Love is beautiful, love is bliss
    I slept with you cuz I couldn't get your sis...

    You are the one, there is no other
    Oh my god....is that your mother?

  8. I love when you caress, kiss, and hug me.
    It's just too bad you're so darn fugly.

  9. Sorry to hear about your divorce.
    Maybe it's you.

  10. I love your teeth, so pearly white
    I wish you didn't take them out at night.

  11. You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen

    It’s a shame your violent vicious and mean

  12. This comment has been removed by the author.

  13. Your eyes are so beautiful, gorgeous and green; too bad you're the ugliest damn thing I've ever seen.

  14. I love how you look, walking down that street, as I watch you, looking so tender and sweet, I fall for you more each waking second; I'm sorry honey, what were you saying? ;)

  15. Wow, they are funny, and the second lines sometimes are unpredictable!

  16. I loved you with all my heart,
    Till you let out that goddamn smelly FART!!!!

    The vodka one at the end was awesome.. cheers 2 smirnoff!

  17. Your face..awwww....what a disgrace!

  18. This comment has been removed by the author.

  19. you are the most caring and sweet guy
    But your face makes me want to cry

  20. i found a sweet loving man, oh so kind,
    but i guess you'll have to do

  21. step one....
    find a hot, nice, sweet guy

    step two.......
    cry bcuz he's gay

    step three.....
    settle for you instead

  22. Your hair is so soft and nice
    to bad its full of LICE!!!

  23. You're so sweet, with a voice of an angels...
    Too bad you've got nothing that dangles.

    Sweet, sensitive, cuddly and cute;
    I meant your sister, silly, not you!

    Wow, you have such rock hard abs...
    It's too bad you also have crabs.


  24. You love me
    I love you
    Well... I did untill
    I saw you

  25. I love your big, round, sexy, chest,

    But no, I can't, that would be incest.

  26. The first tym i saw u,u luked so fine i tot u were divine.A cold shiver ran down my spine and the only thing in i wished for is Baby u'd b mine!


  27. Your centeredness and maturity bring order to my life.

    Too bad that you are someone else's wife.


  28. wow....excellent...couldn't control laughing!

  29. When I saw this it was hard not to laugh.
    That's what she said when she looked at your staff.

  30. I Loved tha way light hit your face
    until we left that dark ass place

    Ur body felt soft and smelled so sweet
    Wish i could say tha same about ur feet

    I love tha way u shake ur ass
    But i cant love u cuz its full of cash
    -S. Dot

  31. You are gorgeous like spring flowers.

    Too bad it's winter so they're wilted and you're sour

  32. you are the love, you are the rain,
    i'd love to lift you, but i have no crane.

  33. 'WOW!' he said wen u went his way, then the frightened dog ran away!

  34. funny and enjoying too !!M laughing by the starting of day


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