TedsWoodworking Plans and Projects

Monday, October 15, 2007

15 Things To Do While Ordering Pizza Over Phone

  1. Terminate the call with, "Remember, we never had this conversation."
  2. Tell the order taker a rival pizza place is on the other line and you're going with the lowest bidder.
  3. Give them your address, exclaim "Oh, just surprise me!" and hang up.
  4. Tell them to put the crust on top this time.
  5. Tell the order taker you're depressed. Get him/her to cheer you up.
  6. If they repeat the order to make sure they have it right, say "OK. That'll be $15.35; please pull up to the first window."
  7. Ask if you can Rent a pizza.
  8. Ask if you get to keep the pizza box. When they say yes, heave a sigh of relief.
  9. Ask to see a menu.
  10. Order a slice, not a whole pizza.
  11. Ask about pizza maintenance and repair.
  12. When listing toppings you want on your pizza, include another pizza as a topping.
  13. Make the first topping you order mushrooms. Make the last thing you say "No mushrooms, please." Hang up before they have a chance to respond.
  14. When the order is repeated, change it slightly. When it is repeated again, change it again. On the third time, say "You just don't get it, do you?"
  15. When they say "Will that be all?", snicker and say "We'll find out, won't we?"

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