TedsWoodworking Plans and Projects

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

15 Crazy Things to Do While Shopping

Got dragged to go shopping with your spouse? Some wonderfully creative things to do when you become utterly bored:

  • Take 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people’s carts when they are not looking.
  • Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
  • Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to tampons section.
  • Walk up to an employee and tell her in an official tone, “Code 3? in housewares….. and watch what happened.
  • Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M’s on lay-by.
  • Move a ‘CAUTION - WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.
  • Set up a tent in the camping department and tell shoppers that you would invite them in if they’ll bring pillows from the bedding department.
  • When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, “Why can’t you people just leave me alone?”
  • Looked right into the security camera; useit as a mirror, pick your nose, and eat it.
  • While handling guns in the hunting department ask the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
  • Dart around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the “Mission Impossible” theme.
  • In the auto department, practice the “Madonna look” using different size funnels.
  • Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yell “PICK ME!” “PICK ME!”
  • When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream “NO! NO! It’s those voices again!!!
  • Go into a fitting room, shut the door, wait a while; then yell, very loudly, “There is no toilet paper in here!”

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