- You know, stop lights don’t come any redder than the one you just went through.’
- ‘Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They stretch after awhile.’
- ‘If you take your hands off the car, I’ll make your birth certificate a worthless document.’
- ‘If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.’
- ‘Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? Because that’s the speed of the bullet that’ll be chasing you.’
- ‘You don’t know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want to on the ticket, huh?’
- ‘Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don’t think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?’
- ‘Warning! You want a warning? OK., I’m warning you not to do that again or I’ll give you another ticket.’
- ‘The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?’
- ‘Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop.’
- ‘Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven .’
- ‘In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.’
- ‘How big were those ‘two beers’ you say you had?’
- ‘No sir, we don’t have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we’re allowed to write as many tickets as we can.’
- ‘I’m glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.
- ‘You didn’t think we give pretty women tickets? You’re right, we don’t. Sign here.’
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Top Sarcastic Police Comments
Tags: funny lists
BOY : May I hold your hand? GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me! BOY : You love me... GIRL : If w...
Albert Einstein is best mind known to human. He was the most Intellectual person ever. But still he had a funny side to him. Following are s...
Who says today’s kids aren’t smart? Well, some of them are! I wish I’d thought of this ... At a high school in Montana a group of stu...
1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. 2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. 3. Going to church doesn...
1. I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either. 2. I ...
Q - Why is it called a TV set when there's only one? Q - If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as ...
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much lea...
The average bed is home to over 6 billion dust mites. Just twenty seconds worth of fuel remained when Apollo 11's lunar module landed on...
There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot. Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in...
Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts. If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is...