These aren’t in any particular order but it’s easy to see with four entries in the list the W.C. Fields is by far the best boozer that has lived.
“Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.” –Frank Sinatra
“Back in my rummy days, I would tremble and shake for hours upon arising. It was the only exercise I got.” –W. C. Fields
“Here’s to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.” –Homer Simpson
“You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.” –Dean Martin
“There can’t be good living where there is not good drinking.”–Benjamin Franklin
“I don’t care how liberated this world becomes – a man will always be judged by the amount of alcohol he can consume – and a woman will be impressed, whether she likes it or not.” –Doug Coughlin (Cocktail)
“I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.” –W. C. Fields
“My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol before, after and if need be during all meals and in the intervals between them.” –Winston Churchill
“Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel shamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, “It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.” –Jack Handy
“Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake.” –W. C. Fields
“It was a woman who drove me to drink, and I never had the courtesy to thank her for it.”
–W. C. Fields
“I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. They wake up in the morning and that’s the best they are going to feel all day.” –Frank Sinatra
“You can’t be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline… it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.” –Frank Zappa
“The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.” –Humphrey Bogart
“It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.” –George Burns
BOY : May I hold your hand? GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me! BOY : You love me... GIRL : If w...
Who says today’s kids aren’t smart? Well, some of them are! I wish I’d thought of this ... At a high school in Montana a group of stu...
Albert Einstein is best mind known to human. He was the most Intellectual person ever. But still he had a funny side to him. Following are s...
1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. 2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. 3. Going to church doesn...
1. I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either. 2. I ...
Q - Why is it called a TV set when there's only one? Q - If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as ...
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much lea...
NICKNAMES If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they...
There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot. Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in...