- You believe that 50% of people are a waste of good air
- Your idea of a good time is a "man with a gun" call
- You conduct a criminal record check on anyone who seems friendly towards you
- You believe in the aerial spraying of Prozac and birth control pills
- You disbelieve 90% of what you hear and 75% of what you see
- You have your weekends off planned for a year
- You refer to your favorite restaurant by the intersection at which it's located
- You have ever wanted to hold a seminar entitled: "Suicide...getting it Right the first time.
- You ever had to put the phone on hold before you begin laughing uncontrollably
- You think caffeine should be available in IV form
- You believe anyone who says, "I only had two beers" is going to blow more than a .O8
- You find out a lot about paranoia just by following people around
- Anyone has ever said to you, "There are people killing other people out there and you are here messing with me."
- People flag you down on the street and ask you directions to strange places ... and you know where it's located
- You can discuss where you are going to eat with your partner while standing over a dead body
- You are the only person introduced at social gatherings by profession. (ISN'T THIS THE TRUTH!)
- You walk into places and people think it's high comedy to grab their buddy and shout, "They've come to get you, Bill."
- You do not see daylight from November until May
- People shout, "I didn't do it!" when you walk into a room and think they're being hugely funny and original
- A week's worth of laundry consists of 5 T-shirts, 5 pairs of socks,and 5 pairs of underwear
- You've ever referred to Tuesday as "my weekend", or "this is my Friday."
- You've ever written off guns and ammunition as a business deduction
- You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, "Boy, it sure is quiet tonight."
- Discussing dismemberment over a meal seems perfectly normal to you
- You find humor in other people's stupidity
- You have left more meals on the restaurant table than you've eaten
- You feel good when you hear "these handcuffs are too tight."
Thursday, November 19, 2009
You Know You're A Cop If
BOY : May I hold your hand? GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me! BOY : You love me... GIRL : If w...
Who says today’s kids aren’t smart? Well, some of them are! I wish I’d thought of this ... At a high school in Montana a group of stu...
Albert Einstein is best mind known to human. He was the most Intellectual person ever. But still he had a funny side to him. Following are s...
Microsoft is planning a conspiracy against Linux. Here is the proof.
1. I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either. 2. I ...
1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. 2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. 3. Going to church doesn...
Following is the list of some of the most funny country songs title. 1. Her Teeth Was Stained, But Her Heart Was Pure 2. How Can I Miss You,...