- Okay, okay! I take it back. Unfuck you.
- You say I’m a bitch like it’s a bad thing.
- Well this day was a total waste of make up
- Don’t bother me, I’m living happily ever after.
- Do I look like a people person?
- This isn’t an office. It’s hell with fluorescent lighting.
- I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.
- Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.
- Why don’t you try practicing random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self-control?
- I’m not crazy. I’ve been in a very bad mood for 30 years.
- Sarcasm is just one more service I offer.
- Do they ever shut up on your planet?
- I’m not your type. I’m not inflatable.
- Stress is what you have when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven’t gone to sleep yet.
- Back off!! You’re standing in my aura.
- Don’t worry, I forgot your name too.
- I work 45 hours a week to be this poor.
- Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
- Wait...I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.
- Chaos, panic and disorder...my work here is done.
- Ambivalent? Well, yes and no.
- You look like shit. Is that the style now?
- Earth is full. Go home.
- Aw, did I step on our poor little itty bitty ego?
- I’m not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
- You are depriving some village of an idiot.
- If assholes could fly, this place would be an airport.
- Look in my eyes...do you see one ounce of who gives-a-shit?
Friday, December 11, 2009
Things Stressed Women Say At Work
BOY : May I hold your hand? GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me! BOY : You love me... GIRL : If w...
Albert Einstein is best mind known to human. He was the most Intellectual person ever. But still he had a funny side to him. Following are s...
Who says today’s kids aren’t smart? Well, some of them are! I wish I’d thought of this ... At a high school in Montana a group of stu...
1. If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out. 2. Age is a very high price to pay for maturity. 3. Going to church doesn...
1. I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either. 2. I ...
Q - Why is it called a TV set when there's only one? Q - If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as ...
Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much lea...
The average bed is home to over 6 billion dust mites. Just twenty seconds worth of fuel remained when Apollo 11's lunar module landed on...
There's a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore like an idiot. Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in...
NICKNAMES If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they...