TedsWoodworking Plans and Projects

Friday, September 10, 2010

Fun Things To Do While Driving (At Your Own Risk)

Got a boring road trip somewhere in the near future? Tired of the same old monotonous drive every morning to work or school? How about bringing some excitement, not only to your drive - but to others! Here are some fun things to do while driving, in case you get bored...
  1. Vary your vehicle's speed inversely with the speed limit.
  2. Ask old people in nice cars for Grey Poupon.
  3. At stop lights, eye the person in the next car suspiciously. With a look of fear, lock your doors.
  4. Write the words "Help me" on your back window in red paint. The more it looks like blood, the better.
  5. Throw Spam. You know... the stuff in the can.
  6. Get in the fast lane and gradually ... slow ... down ... to a stop. Then get out and watch the cars. Throw the Spam at them.
  7. Have conversations, looking periodically at the passenger seat, when driving alone.
  8. Laugh a lot. A whole lot. Hysterically. Borderline asphyxia.
  9. Eat food that requires silverware. Eat it elegantly.
  10. Pass cars, then slow down. If they pass you, pass them back. Repeat.
  11. Sing without having the radio on. Make sure you're into it.
  12. Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Attempt to headbang.
  13. Honk frequently without motivation. Totally random. It's fun. Promise.
  14. Wave at people often. If they wave back, get angry and make an obscene jesture.
  15. Let pedestrians know who's boss. But do it in a non-going-to-jail kinda way.
  16. Look behind you frequently, with a very paranoid look. Someone's after you!
  17. Restart your car at every stop light. You can't help if it stalls right?
  18. Hang numerous car-fresheners in the rear-view mirror. Talk to them, stroking them lovingly. Caress them. You love them. They love you.

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