TedsWoodworking Plans and Projects

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Fun Things To Do In An Elevator

  1. When a person in the elevator repeatedly pushes a button (such as "close" or "open") say, "Congratulations, you figured out that if you push the button 20 times, it works quicker"
  2. When the elevator doors shut, assuringly say, "It's ok, they will open up again!"
  3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!"
  4. Whistle the first seven notes of "Its a Small World" incessantly.
  5. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
  6. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
  7. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
  8. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
  9. Meow occasionally.
  10. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
  11. Stare at another passenger for awhile, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
  12. Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
  13. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "Is that your beeper?"
  14. Say "Ding!" at each floor.
  15. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
  16. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
  17. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
  18. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

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