TedsWoodworking Plans and Projects

Friday, July 13, 2012

Do You Want To Make Money Fast ?

Do You Want To Make Money Fast ?

Of course you do, we all do !!! Here's how to do so with little effort, and, yes IT'S LEGAL. (to a point)

First you need a bullet proof vest. And some masks. Guns help but they're not necessary. Finally, you'll need three suckers-er, um, friends to join you.

Now, what you do is you go into any bank and yell and scream and make tons of noise. Break things, push people around, shoot your guns, basically raise hell until the cops show up.

Once the police arrive, tell them you want 1 million dollars, a helicopter, a monster truck with a tilting bed, a 5,000 gallon fish tank and 300 tons of pop tarts. This will definitely get the attention of your target audience: the news crews.

Once the news reporters arrive, get on the phone to the news stations and offer live interviews to the highest bidder. Banks have lots of phone lines, so you can conference them in. Get your pals to call hard copy and the enquirer, they'll want a piece of the action!

You should have a few hours of negotiation time before the cops finally bust in and take you down. But we're not done yet! Oh no! Start yelling at the cops and calling them names. Keep insulting them until they beat you to a pulp. Then you sue, sue SUE!!

Finally, after your release from prison, hit the talk show circuit. Go on Sally, Geraldo and Oprah and tell them how society at large is to blame for the crimes you were forced to commit. Then plug your autobiography: "I'm the bank robber you saw on hard copy"

If you do it right, you might even star in your own made-for-TV movie! Mo'money, Mo' money, MO' MONEY!

Personal Disclaimer: If any of you get arrested, beaten, deported or killed because of this posting, I claim no responsibility for your actions. Furthermore, any such lawsuit will be answered by a countersuit alleging theft of my idea. You have been warned.

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