- 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
- Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your old age home.
- A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
- A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
- All men are idiots, and I married their King.
- Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.
- Borrow money from a pessimist, they don't expect it back.
- Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
- Don't drink and drive, you might hit a bump and spill your drink.
- Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
Sunday, May 27, 2007
Funny One Liners
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