TedsWoodworking Plans and Projects

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Are You An A$$hole?

  1. If you make fun of a sports team for 10 years and then when they suddenly do well, you jump on the bandwagon and act as if you’ve always been a fan… you are an a$$hole!
  2. If you take up two parking spaces for one car… you are an a$$hole! (unless you have to get your wheelchair out of your car)
  3. If you fart while passing in front of people in the movie theater… you are an a$$hole!
  4. If you complain about the government, yet don’t vote… you are an a$$hole!
  5. If you drive 50 mph in the far left lane on the highway and don’t notice all the cars backed up behind you… you are an a$$hole!
  6. If you complain about the price of gas, yet drive a car that gets eight miles per gallon… you are an a$$hole!
  7. If you commit a crime, get caught and sent to prison, but think it is unfair…you are an a$$hole!
  8. If you watch 28 hours of television a week and then say that you don’t read because you don’t have time… you are an a$$hole!
  9. If you commit a crime, get caught and sent to prison, but think it is unfair… you are an a$$hole!
  10. If you send chain letters of any kind (this includes those stupid e-mails that you are going to make a ton of money or some sick child will benefit because so-and-so company will track your e-mails even though that is impossible)… you are an a$$hole!
  11. If you are Christian Bale… you are an a$$hole!
  12. If you put your makeup on while driving… you are an a$$hole!
  13. If you blast your horn at the driver in front of you a split second after the light turns green… you are an a$$hole!
  14. If you stay in the movie theater while your baby screeches his head off… you are an a$$hole!
  15. If you have a lame homepage that takes forever to download because you have cheesy music and way too many graphics… you are an a$$hole!
  16. If you think welfare is an occupation… you are an a$$hole!
  17. If you talk shit about people without knowing the whole story… you’re an a$$hole!
  18. If you complain about your weight problem and still eat at McDonalds… you are an a$$hole!
  19. If you yell at people on t.v. to do something even though you know they can’t hear you… you are an a$$hole!
  20. If you ask stupid questions and then get pissed off when returned with stupid answers…you are an a$$hole!
  21. If you loudly entertain the whole bus/park/lobby/ beach/neighborhood with your boom box, car stereo or iPod blasting so loud in your ears that we can all still hear it… you are an a$$hole!
  22. If you call for a pizza, tell the guy to hold, then ask what everybody wants…you are an a$$hole!
  23. If you write “U” instead of “you,” or “sux” instead of “sucks,” or “klik” instead of “click” or “kreative” instead of “creative”…you are an a$$hole!
  24. If you think welfare is an occupation…you are an a$$hole!
  25. If you ask every Asian person you meet, “Do you know karate?”… you are an a$$hole!
  26. If you think only women should cook…you are an a$$hole!
  27. If you hold people up in line at the store to pay for a one dollar pack of gum with a credit card… you are an a$$hole!
  28. If you ask someone a question but don’t listen to the answer…you are an a$$hole!
  29. When you are the boss and send out an email telling everyone in the office to show up on time and then stroll in 30 minutes late everyday and leave at 10 to five…you are an a$$hole!
  30. If you make a list of what constitutes an a$$hole… you are an a$$hole!

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