A man went to visit his 90 year old grandfather in a very secluded rural area of the state he lived in. After spending the night, his grandfather prepared breakfast for him consisting of eggs and bacon.
He noticed a film-like substance on his plate and he questioned his grandfather. "Are these plates clean?"
His grandfather replied, "Those plates are as clean as cold water can get them, so go on and finish your meal."
That afternoon, while eating the hamburgers his grandfather made for lunch, he noticed tiny specks around the edge of his plate, and a substance that looked like dried egg yolks.
He asked again, "Are you sure these plates are clean?"
Without looking up from his hamburger, the grandfather said, "I told you before, those dishes are as clean as cold water can get them. Now don't ask me about it anymore."
Later that afternoon, he was on his way out to get dinner in a nearby town.
As he was leaving, his grandfather's dog started to growl and wouldn't let him pass.
He said, "Grandfather, your dog won't let me out."
Without diverting his attention from the football game he was watching on TV his grandfather shouted, "COLDWATER, Go lay down!"